I'm all about it now.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Moby rapes your skull in this video
I Love To Move In Here from moby on Vimeo.
Sorry I haven't posted in a while, my loyal readers. Enjoy this mind-fuck from your pal, Moby.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
There's a Dragoon in me pantaloons!
Gamasutra has a kick-ass article up on the history of the Panzer Dragoon series. It's an interesting read if you're into dragoons and kicking asses. Too bad these came out on the piece of shit Sega Saturn and not the Playstation. Oh well. At lease you can play Orta on the 360 now...
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Big Mac Vat Attack
Yes kids, soon we will be eating vat-grown meat courtesy of modern science. I'd like the see what those damn vegans would have to say about that? No murder here. Just delicious, meaty goodness. Apparently both red and white meats can be conjured forth from a bath of plants and mushrooms with just a dash of crazy biochemistry for taste.
Think about all the happy cows talking about the cow-holocaust and "how easy you young whipper-snappers have it."
From the article:
But one could envision someday a model, say, of a solar-powered facility in southern California or Singapore basically turning sunlight and desalinated seawater into growth medium and then tons of cruelty-free, sustainable nuggets of chicken essence.
Mmm, essence.
[Via i09]
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Something to cheer you up!
This world, this scene of tormented and agonised beings, who can only continue to exist by devouring each other; in which every ravenous beast is the living grave of thousands of others, and its self-maintenance is a chain of painful deaths; in which the capacity for feeling pain increases with knowledge, and therefore reaches its highest degree in man.
-Arthur Schopenhauer
The World as Will and Idea
Friday, April 4, 2008
Zardoz!
Holy crap! This movie will blow your mind. I don't think you could handle this trailer on heavy acid, man.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
It's all in the details...
12:45 PM me: crack was off the chain. Better than I expected
Ryan: lol
12:46 PM ?
me: what?
12:47 PM i watched it on blu-ray last night
Ryan: ohh
i thought u were tellin me u tried crack
its called crank btw
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
No one rocks the cock like Krysta Now
Wiser words have never been uttered by disembodied voices during the apocalypse. Richard Kelley's Southland Tales is one of the most fucked up, bloated, meandering, asinine and befuddling movies I have ever seen-- and I loved it!!!
Read this before you watch the movie. It will make more sense. Or just watch the damn thing and read the IMDB FAQ like I did.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
The Legend of N
What do you get when you cross N+ with The Legend of Zelda? Why this glass of fresh-squeezed, pure awesome.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
WTF Dream
It was kinda like this but 10x more awesome.
I had the strangest fucking dream last night!
I'm in some kind of back room in an airport. Seth Green in working as an electrician replete with teal overalls and a little white embroidered name tag. He is behind a slightly open door telling a story to his coworkers. It's not so much a story as it is a spoken word rendition of Boyz in Da Hood by Eazy-E.
Yeah, this Seth Green. And what the fuck is up with this picture?
Seth walks out of this room only to find himself in front of some weird African dude.
The Weird African Dude
Weird African dude tries to corner Seth Green in a back room and force him into some kind of sick, African, "ten-hour labour of pleasure”.
Dolph Lundgren busts out of a back room and start kicking his ass.
Mr. "I must break you" himself.
The African pulls out a walkie-talkie to call for reinforcements then escapes.
Suddenly, Rowdy Roddy Piper comes out of left field and starts beating the shit out of Dolph Lundgren.
"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
Someone yells, “You traitor!” To which Roddy Piper replies, “I was never on your side, I'm a Canadian!” Dolph Lundgren starts ruining his shit. He catches Roddy Piper in a heel hook and blows his knee out.
I get the fuck out of there right quick. On the way out I am accosted by this guy from The King of Kong a Fist Full of Quarters documentary:
Why, Walter Day, why?
I bash-in his fucking skull and get the fuck out of that piece.
Then I woke up.
Care to interpret this one, Mr. Freud?
Friday, March 21, 2008
Like a torpedo in the sea
Art nouveau? Not exactly. It's a high-powered magnification of shark skin. Not only does it look like it could chew your fucking face off, it also is what allow sharks to shoot hella good underwater like a torpedo in the sea. Shooting hella good underwater also happens to be one of my many talents. But my skin isn't nearly that badass.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Sid Vicious
So we watched Sid and Nancy last night. What a bunch of depraved, drug-addled fucks. Pretty good movie. Funny as hell in a darkly humorous way. There are some interviews with the real Sid and Nancy floating around.
Check this one out.
The dude is so 'houin'd-out he's barely conscious. The guy was in the Sex Pistols but only as window dressing. The guy actually couldn't play anything. He was the bassist in name only. They left his guitar unplugged during the shows. They just thought he fit the punk lifestyle so well that they let him join the band.
You can read all about his life and time here.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
More Kraftwerk
Holy shit these guys are weird. Best part is when the dude at the end hits the special key to play a little melody. That's pretty much all he does. And it rules.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
Berzerker probes
No, not the name of a new porn. These are hideous bastardizations of a Von Neumann probe.
From the IO9 article:
Berserkers could be disseminated with the sole purpose of sterilizing every planetary system it encounters, forever eliminating the possibility for life to emerge and evolve. Should it encounter an inhabited planet, it could use any number of schemes, including nanotech instigated ecophagy, to quickly destroy all life in a matter of hours. By using a scorched galaxy policy, a civilization could sterilize the Milky Way in about 500,000 years.
Alternately, berserker probes could be disbursed across the entire Galaxy and lie dormant, patiently waiting for signs of intelligence.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
My guidance councilor never said this was an option
When I grow up I want to be a starfighter pilot and fuck purple haired girls.
More of these here.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
This is one of the most disturbing things I've read lately
The US has more prisoners than any other nation on the planet. 1 in 100 adult males are in prison. Read that again. 1 in 100. $44 Billion dollars have been spend last year on incarceration. Govenment spending for this so-called "rehabilitaion" has risen six times faster than spending for higher education. The worst part of all? This surge in spending has not reduced crime rates or recidivism rates.
The justice system is a business. Three strikes laws, and the "War on Drugs" has created a massive, thriving economy that feeds on the suffering of citizens. People who pose little to no rish to society are being imprisoned in vast numbers.
How much money could be saved in California alone if the judicial-prison compelx reduced sentencing guidelines and used parole and rehabilitaion instead? Unfortunately they have little motivation to do so. It's all about the bottom line. Let's cut education spending instead.
The "justice" system is a government backed corporate conglomorate operating under the guise of "helping" it's citizens. What a fucking crock.
Nothing will ever be done. It will keep getting worse. Welcome to the police state.
Article here.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
I want this...
You can read all about how badass this camera is right here.
It films in HD, 24 fps (so it looks a lot like film). They used this thing on Cloverfield. Fuck yeah.
Some one give me $5000!
Or just buy me the baby brother: the AG-DVX100B.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Damn punks!
(Editor's note: I am not over 30 or even 30 for that matter but most of this is pretty apropos. Replace Atari with NES and I think it fits pretty well.)
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were
when they were growing up; what with walking
twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways
yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to lay
a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it
and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you
don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The
Internet . If we wanted to know something,
we had to go to the damn library and
look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter... with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and
put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to
steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the
beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!
It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer,
a collections agent, you just didn't know!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600!
With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square!
You actually had to use your imagination!!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win.
The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height!
If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see,
you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that
was only like 15 channels
and there was no on screen menu and no remote control!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!
You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the
channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire... imagine that!
If we were lucky enough to eventually have a microwave, it had 2 settings… cook and defrost.
If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled.
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
(Thanks, Doug)
Monday, February 11, 2008
Contra Turns 20
And in celebration, here is a sweet video I found on YouTube that shows the differences between the USA, JAP, and PAL versions of the game. Continuing the long tradition of America getting shitty ports of great Japanese games, the JAP version of Contra contains a special chip that adds and intro and better backgrounds to the game. In America, game makers could only use the stock NES chips so, again, we got a shittier version than the Japanese got. Boo.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Quote of the day
"Your truck may be the manliest thing I've ever seen but the alarm sounds like it belongs in a 1998 Honda Civic. It should make a sound like what Godzilla would sound like if he got hit in the balls."
-Me
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Kaizo SMW Hack + Quantum Physics
This is 137 plays of a notoriously difficult Super Mario World Hack all layered on top of one another for some many worlds theory meets Super Nintendo badassary.
Explaination here.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The History of Dragon Quest
An exhaustive history of Dragon Quest (Dragon Warrior on the NES) is up over at Gamasutra. Due to poor sales, we ended up missing out on both of the Super Nintendo installments of the franchiese. Dragon Quest V, one of the previously mentioned games lacking a stateside release, is considered to be the best Dragon Quest to date and, as usual, we Americans got screwed out of it because of all the Madden-playing fucktards. Thanks, assholes!
Exploding Hamster
Maniac Mansion was a pretty warped game. Check out this sequence; don't mind the German.
Aliens and tentacles, oh my!
There is a great feature on Maniac Mansion over at The International House of Mojo (Monkey Island 2 reference FTW!). This is the prequel to Day of the Tentacle, my favorite game of all time.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden
Yes, this is a real game. Yes you can download it:
http://www.tomatoland.org/drdougbeach/BarkleyV108.zip
Friday, February 1, 2008
Into the enigma
Still haven't seen this one.
Check out this fascinating article. A writer is invited to examine the archives of the eccentric genius director Stanley Kubrick. This is a must-read for any fan of Kubrick's films or of crazy people in general.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
The clock is a-tickin'
Attribution
How much time do you have left to live? According to this website, I will live to the ripe old age of 76! That is 176,000 more days of sweet-ass blog posts, my dear reader(s).
This, of course, does not factor in any radical new advances in life-extending medicine. Considering the exponential rate of scientific advances, we may be the first generation to live well beyond what is considered a traditional life expectancy.
Give it a try!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
The King of Kong is wrong (a review)
Let me first say that I did actually love this movie. Notice how I didn't refer to it as a documentary. The King of Kong is billed as a documentary about two men wrestling for the title of the World Champion of King Kong. It is not, however, a documentary at all. It is a movie made from real footage and pieced together to create the narrative the film makers wanted to create. A series of glaring omissions, misrepresentations and clever edits distort the true events to a ridiculous degree.
In the movie we see Steve Weibe, the newcomer, take on Billy Mitchell, the World Champ. Accused of cheating to get his record-shattering million-point score, Steve flies across the country to play the game live at Funspot in New Hampshire. At Funspot, Steve cannot recreate his 1,000,000+ achievement but he does manage to best the previous world record held by Mitchell. Billy Mitchell, who is painted as a egomaniacal jackass who would do just about anything to remain the champion, submits a tape with a score that bests Steve's live score. The official judges decide to accept Mitchell's unverified tape and re-crown him the King of Kong. The rest of the movie follows Steve's attempts to break Billy's high score and become the true, legitimate champion. That defines the narrative thrust of about 2/3's of the entire film. In reality, Steve Weibe was the already the officially-recognized champion. Billy's video taped score was taken down 48 hours after the Funspot event and Steve reigned as the World Champion for over three years!!! So then the entire plot of the Twin Galaxies conspiring with Billy Mitchell to keep Steve out of the official records was and outright lie. There are numerous other examples of the filmmakers changing things around. You can read them all here:
The King of Kong - Official Statement
That being said, the movie still fucking rocks. It's too bad that the story they were trying to portray as reality ended up being a cleverly edited fantasy. Despite all the editorial chicanery, The King of Kong is still a must-see film.
Buy Rez NOW!
Cult-classic PS2 game Rez, realized on the Xbox360 Live Arcade in full hi-def and 5.1 surround sound. Fuck yeah! Synestesia will be experienced tonight!
Best spaceship name ever!
Behold, the frickin' Vic Viper from Gradius in all of it's injection-molded glory! Yeah it's a model. Someone build me one.
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